Hello. First blog post- ooh, lots of pressure. Ahaha, just kidding.
Anyway, since this is the first post of the blog that’s supposed to be about my life, I should probably clue you in to my life.
Let’s wind the clocks back
(oh ho h o, Joker quote) to my middle school years; the mid-2000’s. We’re going to start in 2006 which was when I began 6th grade. My mom woke up early and left for work, my father didn’t live with us- so I took it upon myself to skip school and sleep in about once or twice a week. I kept that habit up until I was in 8th grade when my mom’s job called for her to work from home- she learned of my habits and made me go back to school as normally as possible. But, I couldn’t keep myself awake in school- I fell asleep in Science many-a-day. In the end, I managed to make it past middle school with A’s and B’s.
Going into high school was another story. The school started a whole hour earlier than middle school and held a lot more students than my last school. I had developed an anxiety to going to school- I used to sob and cry when my mom woke me up, having complete anxiety attacks on the bathroom floor. After my mom called the school and told them I wouldn’t be going that day, I walked back to my room and went to bed, sleeping for another 12 hours.
That went on for weeks- until I had to be home-schooled. In some ways it was good, in some it was bad; I didn’t learn anything, honestly. But I got to sleep all I wanted and I worked 4-5 hours a day at my first job. I managed to obtain a degree; it really hadn’t occurred to me that I would graduate or go to college. I thought I would just sleep forever- I still think that.
I did end up at university… for a month and a half. While at university, I slept 12-15 hours a day, missing almost all my classes (including an evening class) excluding the class I had with my roommate. It was terrible. I knew I had to make a change, so I withdrew and packed my stuff to return home.
Since returning home I’ve seen 4 doctors: a general practitioner, a pulmonary doctor, a sleep doctor, and some underlings. I’m currently on the path to fix my sleeping schedule and have a meeting with a sleep psychologist to retrain my sleep schedule. After that, I will have a sleep study.
As for my actual sleeping, I generally sleep anywhere from 10 to 15 hours uninterrupted. I fall asleep within 15 minutes. I cannot be awoken by any type of alarm- I’ve even tried the ones that shake the bed. I can only sleep when I’m tired; meaning, if I’ve been up for 19 hours and it’s 2am and I have to be up at 6am, but I’m not tired, I won’t be able to sleep. I keep two copies of sleep diaries- I have no idea what they mean, but I keep them anyway. I am on medicines for bipolar disorder that make me sleepy, but I have only been on them since 2011 (the problem started earlier than then).
So far, it’s been decided that I have Circadian Rhythm Disorder- and perhaps some kind of Hypersomnia, but until the sleep study, it hasn’t been confirmed. Both these are chronic illnesses- meaning I was born with them and I will die with them.
The Silver Lining
I have the most magical dreams. They last for hours and hours- stories that play out in my head, over and over. My life is almost lived in a dream. Not a lot of people remember their dreams, so I feel very privileged to remember mine.